Monkey Run II!

John Burns
by John Burns

The Adventurists are a UK-based organization striving to make the world a less boring place and raising money for charity while doing it:

“Our planet used to slap us about the face-cheeks with iron fists of adventure every day. Maps had edges to walk off. Men feared the monsters that swam the seas. Entire civilisations lay unknown.

“But now, the entire surface of the Earth has been scanned by satellites and shovelled into your mobile phone tagged with twattery about which restaurant serves the best mocha-latte-frappeshite.

“Getting lost and in trouble is no longer an occupational hazard of walking to the market. It is an art-form. One we strive to perfect.”

Here’s the latest Adventurist adventure:

If the thrill of track riding has started to fade, if the whizz-bang dashboard on your bike gives you a headache and if you’re concerned about becoming a Sunday couch potato rather than living life to the full, then The Monkey Run is for you. If it can’t rekindle your love for bikes then it really is time to hang up your boots and buy yourself a new pair of novelty slippers.

The inaugural Monkey Run took place for the first time this past April and involved fourteen brave/stupid guinea pigs being led blindfolded into the Sahara Desert, twelve hours from Marrakech, and told they had to get to a destination on the Atlantic Coast, 600 miles away, six days later. The only slight glitch was that they had to travel those 600 unknown miles on a Monkey Bike. For those who aren’t familiar with the 49cc Monkey Bike, the organizers sum it up as follows…

“If a gigantic all-terrain dual-sport bike is a way of announcing to the world that you’ve got a tiny willy, a Monkey Bike serves to remind folk that you’re hung like a donkey.”

That’s to say that a Monkey Bike is very small, standing not much taller than knee height, a 48cc Chinese knockoff of the classic Honda Z50. It’s totally inappropriate for riding across a desert and almost guaranteed to break down every few miles. For all their shortcomings however, the riders on the pioneer Monkey Run agreed they wouldn’t have wanted to ride it on any other bike. Not only were they able to fit through tiny gaps in traffic and there wasn’t far to fall when they came off, but the bikes were light enough to carry when they inevitably broke down, and so mechanically basic that a roll of gaffer tape went a long way.

Most importantly the bikes were a whole lot of fun. Being so low to the ground meant travelling at 20mph felt like racing at ten times that speed, and they were unwavering in their ability to bring a smile to the faces of all around, whether the riders themselves or those rolling around on the floor laughing as grown men went past on bikes fit for children.

It wasn’t just about the bikes however, and once au fait with their totally inadequate steeds, the riders had to deal with the fact there was no set route to their destination, the Atlas Mountains were in the way, and getting lost and staying with strangers was encouraged.

It was this being thrown in at the deep end that made the trip so memorable. As riders struggled with their bikes across the Sahara Mad Max style, they were blown away by the vastness and beauty of the desert landscape: Nights were spent sleeping under the stars in the Atlas Mountains without even a tent for protection, sweeping roads were swapped for pot-holed, unmapped tracks and river crossings, bizarre wildlife was encountered and a lot of new friends, especially local mechanics, were made.

Here’s how Alvaro Baleato Varela, a Monkey Run Pioneer, summed up MR1:

“I expected fun on a motorcycle while getting lost and a lot of off-road. Did it match it? We made it match, taking around 60 miles of off-road pistes and paths every day. Was it good fun? Very. Dangerous? Sometimes while riding along the cliffs – not Ngalawa-cup dangerous, but still risky depending on where you ride and how.

It didn’t take us long to get lost, around 15 minutes after the start line, since my teammate and me had no maps whatsoever. A cool chap called Jules appeared just in that moment and from there on, we three rode the hell out of those Chinese monkey bikes for the remainder of the Run.

The bikes were pretty good fun while riding flat out downhill; you could actually make them jump and they were much more competent in the dirt than I thought. I can assure you that I abused my bike as much as I could, including taking her 1-meter-deep into the sea on Taghazout Beach. Twice! Even then it started (after taking all the water out and pushing a lot). BUT not everybody had that luck.

“We had been in Morocco before, and people have always been very kind with us. The other riders were also all pure adventurers and very cool guys. All in all the Monkey Run was a very funny little adventure. If you do it well, you can find some great fun and good troubles.”

After the huge success of the Pioneer Edition of The Monkey Run, the organizers, The Adventurists, plan to run the event bi-annually in Morocco (already having sold out for the next Run) and are also exploring the possibility of running a third event ‘somewhere else in the world’!

For more details or to sign up for a future Monkey Run visit The Adventurists.

John Burns
John Burns

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