Some motorcycles bite, particularly those with a kick starter. Kick starter levers sometimes “kick back” as any past or current owner of a bike with a kicker will attest.
But what would you do if you discovered your bike really wanted to get you? Like, it wanted to kill you.
Just in time for the Halloween season, here’s an older moto-centric movie about a killer bike. No, not a really cool bike, as in “Killer bike, dude.” but a motorcycle with a mind of its own that’s out for blood.
The 1990 Brit film, I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (really, this is the title) chronicles the bloodthirsty rampage of a seemingly harmless and otherwise pristine Norton that’s possessed by a disembodied evil spirit. The British motorcycle moves about freely at will, and when the time is right it morphs into a spike-bearing killer.
I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle is B-movie camp at its best — it is both complete low-budget sh*t, as the Brits say, and ridiculously entertaining for its sheer disregard for reality. Want an example of the foolishness other than a vampire motorcycle? Then wait to see the talking turd. Yep, you read right. A turd.
We won’t spoil it for you, but rest assured the vampire-ized Norton meets the same fate as all bad vampires. There are bits and pieces of this cult film all over YouTube, but watch the official trailer below for the best tease.
Ed Wood, eat your heart out.